I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
