Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
