that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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