i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he thought i was a dude.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
