Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
