1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
