That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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