He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
