Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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