I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
