yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
