I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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