Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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