Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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