you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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