id be glad to
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
