The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
