ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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