it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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