i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
