Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
