You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
