i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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