: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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