Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize