OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
