I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
how does that bad decision feel?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
