you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
