I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
