6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
