absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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