She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
