Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
