hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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