This gyro tastes like lonliness
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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