Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
