how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
