id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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