At least make sure they are 18
Why
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
