I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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