Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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