did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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