Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
