We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
