I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
