Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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