woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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