so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
