I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
