this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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