thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
