he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
